When a MAGA Christian Meets God.

GOD: "What did you do with your life?"
PERSON: "Well, I know you dislike immigrants because so many of them are moochers and travel illegally, so I went to rallies and called for mass deportations, I also made sure to call them gang members every chance I got! It's not my fault bomb threats were called in over the cat thing, but I had to tell people they were stealing pets.
GOD: "Well, they weren't stealing pets ... and I think you forgot that I made Israel migrants who went to foreign lands and also commanded them to welcome the stranger as their own. Ok, if you didn't follow that direct commandment, did you do something else?

PERSON: "Well, we knew you wanted us to preach morality, and demonstrate morality by firmly controlling society ... so we elected someone who was an adjudicated rapist, convicted felon, and serial adulterer. Sure, he's a criminal and molests women but he makes it possible for us to hold power!"
GOD: "Well, I guess you missed the message on morality, and made it a message of hypocrisy ... but did you at least show love to all?

PERSON: "Well, we tried. But we knew that you hated anyone that wasn't straight, so we called anyone who wasn't horrible names and treated them like animals, in your name."
GOD: "Oh. I don't remember saying to do that or that I hated any group of people, after all I gave my own Son for all. Ok, so you missed another thing. But did you at least feed the hungry?"

PERSON: "Well, no. I mean it's not my fault they didn't look hard enough for a job. I know you detest freeloaders and people asking for things they don't deserve and after all, surely you agree that taxes should only help the fortunate."
GOD: "Well, I gave my son for undeserving mankind and He commanded believers to be a community and blessing to others. Did you ever, at least, comfort the hurting?"

PERSON: "Well, sort of. I tried. I know you don't agree with divorce so I did tell that abused woman who came to us for counseling to go back to her husband. After all, we couldn't let her flee him because she couldn't attend church if she was a divorcee. But really, you have to give me a pass ... I had no idea he would kill her. Totally came out of the blue. At least she died without being divorced."
GOD: "Please, please tell me you at least focused on the most important task I set for you and you preached the Gospel to the lost."

PERSON: "Well, I tried. I wanted to, really. There was just so much we had to do politically that by the time we funded all the politicians who agreed to put those we disliked into punishment camps, we only had enough money left-over for a change offering which we split in two for Pastor's Day and the Missions fund. But ... we bought pastor a nice new car! and we did build a lovely Ten Commandments memorial at City Hall! We used the rest to buy some used clothes for our church missionaries abroad."
GOD: "Well, if you didn't make the Gospel your focus, did you at least put every believer to work, doing something that demonstrates my love, and raised everyone up to the task, including women?"

PERSON: "Well, we know you hate women leading, so we made sure women only taught and pastored when over foreigners abroad and never over a white man. After all, back home their only job is to be sexy and willing for us when we come home from a hard day calling lobbyists."
GOD: "Depart from me. I never even knew you."

/ENDS